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Friday, 9 November 2012

Gay magicians and lesbian Grannys.

The Louie Spence of the magic world.

Past few days have been strange, in the best possible way. I've still been feeling dizzy and sick, but I'm not letting it stop me from enjoying myself! And what better way to do that then Starbucks, pub quizzes and just hanging out in general with friends? 

Answer: nothing.

Need to get into the habit of blogging more often. Whilst I procrastinate, please cope with the old-school heading style of blogging below:

Wednesday

Morning conversation at about 6.40am with Mum:
ME: Who... won... America?
MUM: Obama.
*Fist pumps the air and goes back to sleep immediately* 
Sara picked me up at Lunch time and we headed into town together, planning on meeting Dougal at Starbucks. Due to an incident with a slide at Argos (best not to ask), we were a little late on going in.

We came up with a new word on the way in. Banterous. It's fun to say. Go on. Say it. Banterous. Ban-tehr-isss.

Sara recently changed her name on twitter:
ME: I'm so sad that sarawr is gone
SARA: I know...
DOUGAL: What is it now?
SARA: Sarajsinclair. Sarawr... no, Sara is so much more sophis...ticated.
ME: Yes Sara, you're just a very sophis...ticated person.
Scot then came to say hi, among other words. 

When we were walking back to Sara's car, he took out his chewing gum and stuck it to the back of a Royal Mail van, before starting to laugh like an amused toddler.


Thursday

Sickening that this was the first day of College I had this week, because I missed Monday's lesson after being sick. Wehhh.

Walked through the door (late as always) and sat down. Immediately, the day took a turn for the better
DEAN: Hold on a minute! 
Everyone turns around and looks at Jim, who is wearing a specially made Night Terror hoodie, fit with Night Terror's motto ("Don't be a bastard!") and the Poorly Made Comic's youtube link.




For those of you who haven't seen the Night Terror
videos.

We then watched a short film by second year HND student Bruce Taylor called 'Deid'. It was his first year film and it's insane to think that we'll have to be at that standard in only a few short months. 

Had a talk with Danny and Other Dean about the new 'Star Wars' films.

If you want to see a 'Star Wars' geek breakdown, just point out to them that technically, Princess Leia is now a Disney princess.

In case you don't have a Star Wars geek present to try this out on...

Here's one I made earlier.
DISCLAIMER: I didn't make the geek, nor the gif

Rebecca walked in the door and pointed at her jumper. It had a penguin on it. We were so excited I'm pretty sure only 30% of the conversation that followed was English. Good job I'm fluent in fan-girl.
REBECCA: Look, I'm wearing the jumper!
ME: Asopokfhneioeimfioehfoewf get it from?
REBECCA: iojefnoefbniohvnoiefahd New Look. Iioepfokjighindfaue name it Pingu! *To Sara* Look, it's Pingu!
It went kind of like that. It's one of the cutest Christmas jumpers I've ever seen.

We were doing a read-through of Dougal script too. Some of the lines are hilarious, Sara was reading out the lines of the inappropriate Granny, who decided to become a lesbian after having sex with Big Ol' Dave. 

Favourite lines in the script?
"I'll have the Irish beer."
"Ahh, excellent. Guinness?"
"No. Fosters." 
Either that or: 
"YOU TURNED MY GRAN LESBIAN."
Dean, Papa J and Jim then went away to film Dean's directing exercise, in which Jim would be playing... a gay magician.


"Oh, you wanted a bunny rabbit
to come out of my hat? This
is just awkward now."

They changed the final project's name to 'The Camp Magician', following a conversation with Simon in which he suggested the name change. You can watch the end product below:


When we came back to class, we were greeted with Murray and Maddie wearing moustaches. The worst part is, I could take both of them seriously whilst they were wearing them.
ME: That's the moustache I want.
JIM: What for?
ME: ... I don't know. 
I just want to cast someone with a moustache really, no big deal.


Now I think about it, 
I want to cast the Monopoly man.

At night, we were doing a pub quiz. Dean, Alison, Dougal, Jim, Ryan and I all popped on our thinking caps and headed to the Holburn bar for a night of trivia.

Team name: Red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry.

Best team name: Barack Obama: The first black man to hear "Four more years" and not plead guilty.

Close second: Would you fuck me?

The close second isn't second best because of the name, but rather because it made for some awkward moments for the quiz master...
QUIZ MASTER: Obama, Yobama are on eighteen and would you fuck me...
You know when you laugh really hard over the course of a night and it begins to hurt when you smile? That was me... for the whole night. Seriously, I'm so glad I met those guys because they're simply amazing people. 

Some of the questions were a bit... strange?
QUIZ MASTER: How long was the longest recorded chicken flight?
Some were even stranger...
QUIZ MASTER: How many feathers does the average canary have?
JIM: Oh piss off! 
And some just helped to fuel jokes... 
QUIZ MASTER: What is Eric Twinge's alter-ego called?
DOUGAL: Bananaman. 
ME: *referencing the time Papa J put Dean and Alison's fruit bowl down his pants* Oh, that's Papa J's new nickname. 
Then there was a Bane-off, in which Dougal and Jim slid a glass from one side of the table to the other, each saying one word into the glass in order to sound like Bane before passing it onto the opponent.

In the end... we came 18th, out of 20 teams.
JIM: *to rest of bar* We came eighteenth. NONE OF YOU CAME EIGHTEENTH, ONLY WE DID!
He then slid 20p in Alison's direction.
JIM: How much can I get for 20p?
DOUGAL: One penny per second, which is all you'll really need.
DEAN: FUCK YOU! She's not available for one penny per second, she's worth at least two!
Too many good jokes to write down in all honesty. When I think to that night however, I just smile. Definitely one of the best nights I've had in a whiley.

So, I'll leave you with my quote of the night, courtesy of a drunken Jim:
*Jim, looking at his hand's in amazement*
ME: Yes Jim. Those are your fingers.
JIM: It's like... when Vampires eat garlic bread... and they burn... that's what it feels like when I do this *moves fingers lightly and then makes a fist*
Lauren xxx

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