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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Saturday, 27 October 2012

It's kind of like mince and tatties...

Mince and tatties, after the events of Wednesday night, have been eternally ruined for me.

I've been on holiday this week, so have been busy using my time off to hang out with friends. Awesome times have been had, which I will recap for you... right after a word from my sponsor:

'Night Terror 2: Terrorise This!'
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Another piece of news? This blog has just received its 40,000th view.

That is completely insane... Thank you everyone who actually reads these ramblings! I appreciate the time that you spend reading these posts more than I could ever explain.

Righto, going to go all old-school on you and use headings. Doesn't this remind you of the old days when I was still at school and used the headings to break up the school day... 

What's that? Get on with it Lauren? Okay...blame a girl for being a bitty nostalgic!


Woke up early (i.e. when the hour on the clock was still in single figures, waking up at that time should be illegal, by the way) because I was supposed to be seeing 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' with Michelle on that day.

Key words: supposed to.

She phones me up at 11.45am and tells me that she's just woke up. We were meant to meeting each-other at 12pm.

We arranged to watch the film on Wednesday again. No worries.

I did a film quiz with a few college buds at night. Danny, Daniel and Dean met up with me and we all headed to Cineworld's bar. The lady came over and asked:
"Are you here for the movie quiz?"
Which I, because I'm an idiot, misheard as:
"Are you the random ninjas?"
It became our team-name.

Lucky, because our team-name was going to be 
"The A-team... and Dean"

Long story short, we nailed it. 

We played a little bit dirty at times...
QUIZ MASTER: What was the colour of Luke Skywalker's lightsaber...
QUIZ MASTER: ... In 'Return of the Jedi'?
THE BOYS: Green.
ME: Shhhh!
DANNY: Oh, look at those lights hanging from the ceiling...
ME: They look like lightsabers.
DANIEL: *with a raised voice* Yeah, they look like blue lightsabers, just like Luke Skywalker's in 'Return of the Jedi'!
We end up coming third. Which was where I wanted to place... 

1st place get cinema tickets and free food.

2nd place get cinema tickets.
3rd place get posters.

I've already get an unlimited card, and I love posters, so I always want to place 3rd.

We got four posters:

  • 'Looper'
  • 'Taken 2'
  • 'The Campaign'
  • 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower'
US: ...
ME: *in my head* I suppose I should take 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' poster, seen as it's the girly movie.
DEAN: I'll take the 'Perks of Being a Wallflower' poster... it'll look ironic in my room.
 Yeah, I'm sure his decision wasn't
at all affected by the thought of 
having a large image of this 
flawless being in his room...

Nah, Dean probably did  just get the poster to look ironic. But you've got to admit, she's pretty!

I ended up with the 'Looper' poster, which, seen as I loved that movie, I was happy with! 

It also marked the first time I ever won anything, big moment for me.


Got up at an even earlier time than Tuesday, because Biffy Clyro tickets were on pre-sale on that day. Went on, got the tickets and was getting ready to go meet Michelle and surprise her with the confirmation of her ticket to go see her favourite band playing live...

When I get a phone-call.
MICHELLE: You're going to hate me.
I don't hate her. I'm just sad that I still haven't seen 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' yet. 

At night, Dean had the college buds round to his flat. 

Most of what happened that night will stay between 'the clan' members.

PAPA J: Is it okay if I call you guys the clan?
JIM: No. You can call us the clan, except Jim. No, wait. I want to be in the clan. Can I be in the clan?
All you need to know is that most of the time was spent talking about the erotic shop Papa J runs and laughing at Jim's reaction to everything Papa J said. Also, Papa J put half of Dean's fruit-bowl down his pants. There's a video. Our lighting lecturer has seen it.

We also found out that Papa J has an irrational fear of blowjobs after being bitten by someone whilst receiving one:

PAPA J: If you think about it... blowjobs are kind of like mince and tatties... some people just don't like them. 
Some of the jokes were fairly innocent:
JIM: What do you call Postman Pat on the dole? Pat.
Whereas some were... quite frankly, I don't think I can repeat many of them on here. I just...

JIM: I'm so sorry...
The first thing I heard from my friends on Thursday morning. He was apologising for the things he said whilst drunk the night before, but really, he needn't have bothered. It was all hilarious. 

I was supposed to be meeting Sara and Dougal at Starbucks for an LSD catch-up session. Again, LSD stands for Lauren Sara Dougal. Just to clarify. There was no LSD involved... but if there was.

"Why you so shocked Whoopi? I'm telling you,
we got served by Shamu and then rainbows
poured out of my cup and into my soul.

Dougal bumped into Jim in town, so he was hanging out with us too.

They told us that Papa J got a photo taken with some guy... no-one knows who it is.

Why talk to strangers kids,
when you can get your photo taken with them instead?

When Sara came in, I gave her a big cuddle. Jim and Dougal looked at each-ohter, and proceeded to give each-other a big cuddle too. Any excuse for bromantic shenanigans, I swear.

Sara said that she's going out on Halloween dressed as a pirate.
SARA: I ordered an inflatable sword. Bev ordered an inflatable parrot!
 It's really odd, but I'm pretty sure I own one of these...
I've never dressed up as a pirate, nor had any reason to
need an inflatable parrot.

When Sara sat down with her coffee, she checked her new iPhone, (ooooh! Ahhh!) and she had an email.
SARA: My sword has been dispatched!
JIM: .. Whit? 
I knew Dougal was going to try to get Biffy tickets on Thursday, so I asked him:
ME: Did you manage to get tickets for Biffy today?
JIM: Eh whit?
DOUGAL: Biffy... Biffy Clyro? Have you never head of...
JIM: I've heard of her. *sees our facial reactions* Him? Them?!
Dean joined us later on, with his Christmassy jumper and wee pom pom hat.

Jim and Dean have started re-enacting this scene whenever they see each-other:

JIM: *swinging arm madly* IS THIS A STUDENTY PLACE?!
Whilst they were doing this, a toddler thought it would be funny to wave his arms around like Jim.

His Mother then put a wee pom pom hat on, like Dean's. I turned to Sara:
ME: If Jim and Dean had a baby, it would look like that little guy.
DOUGAL: There's one big flaw with that Lauren.
Sara was instagramming during our time in Starbucks.

 Our coffee cups, tall, grande and vente.
 Me, holding heaven in a cup (caramel latte).

Thursday was a good day.


Went to town with my Mum. 

I wanted to take her to the Coffee house. If you live in Aberdeen and haven't been there yet, you're missing out. Information on where you can find it can be found here. It's in my top three favourite coffee spots in Aberdeen.

My hypersomnia is really killing me just now though, so I didn't get up early enough for us to get a seat in the cafe. Next time, I swear.

Always have a lovely time with my Mum on Friday!

At night, I skyped Megan and Sara. 

Megan came out with a brilliant, lesbian sex deterrent:
MEGAN: I'm pregnant... I like cock... leave me alone!
And then Sara left me to play ukulele over skype to her dogs. 

It's been an odd week guys.

A really odd week, even by my standards.

Lauren xxx

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