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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Monday, 2 April 2012

You're going to regret that when you're 18...

You sure you want to do that kid?

There's some things you should never do.

For instance, you should never, under any circumstances, get a drunk tattoo.

Especially if it involves anything to do with humping
unicorns and coital smoking.
Forever hating you for ruining 
my little pony.

Another thing you should never do is tell your employers that you can speak fluent Japanese

あなたはそれについてのために馬鹿である。ばか

Ping pang po! Konichiwaaaaaa.

To be honest, there's a million things that you should never do. But whapping it oot to your family tops the list.

I don't care if you're only five, you shouldn't do it. It's going to end up biting you in the ass.

Or the finger...
Either way, literally.

Went up to visit my wee cousin yesterday. His name is Cameron and he's just a bundle of energy.

After playing about twenty five different games in the space of half an hour (not kidding) and learning that his favourite wrestler is John Cena (betraying the Ritchie clan, CM Punk is clearly the best) it was time to sit down and...

Take off his pants.

He will learn about this when he is 18.

Until then, I'm keeping that quiet from him.

Wouldn't want to upset him and have my invite to his Rambo's birthday party revoked.

Rambo's is basically the most awesome place on earth... for five to eight year olds. I have been struggling to get an invite for ages

Yes, I'm 18 next month and I'm still desperate to play in Rambos. DEAL WITH IT.

Lauren xxx

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