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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Sunday, 18 March 2012

Do you know what pasta means in slang?

Pasta is slang for sex.


Phwoaaaaar.

Upon discovering this, Sara, Dougal and I made a series of Saucy pasta tweets:
  • #GetYourMacaroniOot
  • #SexySagnarelli 
  • #EroticEggBarley 
  • #DirtyDitalini 
  • #LusciousLumache  
  •  #ArousingAlfabeto 
  •  #CuddlyCouscous 
  • #RisqueRadiatori 
  • #SlinkyScialatelli 
  • #NaughtyNoodles 
  • #SexySpaghetti 
  • #AphrodisiacAnelli  
  • #LibidinousLumache 
  •  #ProvocativePenne 
  • #SpankableSpaghetti 
  • #GorgeousGalletti 
  •  #AdorableArrabbiata 
  • #FrigidFarfalloni 
  •  #LustfulLinguini 
  • #EnticingElicoidali 
  • #RomanticRamen 
  • #FieryFettuccini  
  • #RacyRavioli 
  • And personal favourite, #FuckMeFusilli  

Saucy pasta tweets... the cure for boredom.

I laughed more times on Thursday than I'd like to admit to, mainly because I got to hang out with Sara and Dougal for the vast majority of the day.

We were trolling urban dictionary:
ME: Look up mango bango.
SARA: Ohhhh...  I remember you speaking about that. *shows Dougal*
URBAN DICTIONARY DEFINITION: An explicit sexual act, popular amongst various beaner populations, in which a male, while whistling, is performing anal sex on a bald, jump-roping female, while, also, allowing a three-legged dog of only 50 pounds or greater to perform anilingus on him. This act can only be considered a true Mango Bango if there is an ashy black guy jacking his meat whistle and simultaneously eating a Granny Smith apple. 
DOUGAL: *reading, his eyes getting wider as he reads on* ... Well.
What else can you possibly say to that?


Also showed him and Sara a picture of a cocky test answer (literally) to which he said:
DOUGAL: Why would anyone want to say "My penis is the size of three pieces of A4 paper"?!
But I just tweeted "My penis is the size of three pieces of A4 paper" because I'm trying to make D-Zizzle a hit with the ladies. 


Just kidding, the nickname D-Zizzle already has girls going wild for him ;)


Starbucks barista and general heart-throb Joey called Sara out on why she never eats any of Joey's "wheeped creme" (not a metaphor, whore), because it apparently comes from the same town that he is from.


He also says that he is French... we thought he was Russian!


Life is so confusing at times. 


Lauren xxx

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