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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Monday, 9 January 2012

Time confuses me.

Sometimes in life, you come across something so strange, it forces you to say:


One of those moment happened today.

First and foremost, it was that time of year again. Time to go back to school after the festive festivities. 

And of course, when people go from this...

Ahhh, nothing beats a drunken prank. 

To this...


People tend to go a little bit crazy.

However (due to some sort of miracle) everyone was fairly sane today.

Apart from my year, go figure.

People have realised that this is our very last full term in school, and it kind of... umm...

Freaked people out...

Or upset them.

I don't think anyone was upset by the prospect of leaving school, but rather the thought of having to make their own way in the big bad world.

I'm rambling, time to get to the 'action' (my day has been so short it has been actionless)

I was late to registration... again.

2012 may be a new year, but it doesn't mean that I'm a new person.
LINZIE: Happy New Yea...
ME: Before you say it, no, being on time is not one of my new year resolutions!
LINZIE: Well I'm making it!
ME: Is yours joining more school clubs?
Pretty sure that Linzie will have the most impressive CV ever after this year. She's basically put her name forward for everything. Prefect, school-captain, charity fundraiser, young enterprise etc etc etc.


I'm so irritable in the morning. Sorry Linzie, it really wasn't supposed to come out as nastily as it did!


P.E.

Walked into the changing rooms to discover Megan had dyed her hair... yorange?

It was a darkish-lightish orangey yellow.

Technical term.

Let's be honest, I don't have a clue what colour her hair was. All I know is that it looks awesome.

It's Megan though... she always looks awesome. It's just not fair!!

She was wanting to go grey, but warned me on Friday that it would probably going to go ginger first.
MEGAN: The grey hasn't came yet.
ME: *looking at her hair* Not yet, but it should be through soon!
MEGAN: No... it hasn't came in the post yet.
ME: Oh... that would explain why your hair isn't grey then. 
Megan then realised that her hair causes one major problem...
 MEGAN: So we went into the swimmi... Lauren!
ME: *Snapping back to reality* Hmm?
MEGAN: You weren't listening to me!
ME: Sorry, I was staring at your hair... continue!
MEGAN: We were at the swimming pool when there w...
BEV: *interrupting* I'm sorry, but your hair is so cool! 

Upstairs we went and Megan, Lauren and Liam talked about "Piranha", "Paranormal Activity" and "The Mist". I couldn't join in on the conversation on the account that I'm a major wimp and scary movies are not my thing.
LAUREN: The bit where the girl was standing behind the boy watching TV, and then he turned around and she was gone *gasps* AHHH!
ME: I was scared at the bit with the hoover...
*Receives blank stares*
ME: You know... at the end?
MEGAN: Are you sure your Mum wasn't hoovering when you were watching it? 
The conversation went downhill from there:
*Talking about which musical would make great school-shows*
LIAM: Sweeney Todd.
MEGAN: I told them that! 
LAUREN: Isn't it too violent?
MEGAN: Not if they cut some parts out, apparently, you can't pour blood from one bucket into another bucket, because it's symbolic. *Thinks for a second* Maybe it's someone's period.
ME: Aye, 'cause they need a bucket.
MEGAN: We should try this out.
ME: Count me out!
Back in the changing room, me and Megan sprouted the idea of the "truthful ad company". A company that makes the best damn pizzas on the planet truthful adverts... duh. 


How about we change some adverts then?


Galaxy chocolate's official advert: Pretty woman with friends is craving chocolate, she eats one tiny piece of chocolate sexily, because she is sexy.


Truthful ad company's advert: Woman sits curled up on sofa alone, chocolate smeared all over her face, screaming "I NEED THIS TO LIIIIIIIVE!"

First bus advert: 
I've yet to see anyone REMOTELY this happy
in a one miles radius of a first bus, let alone
driving one.

Truthful ad company's advert: Someone waiting at the bus stop screaming "IT'S F*CKING LATE AGAIN!". Some other man runs after a bus, which ignores him and carries on down the road. The bus drivers scowl. Constantly.

Don't even get me started on the perfume adverts.

ART

Took a lot of pictures of an alarm clock to make myself look busy... it didn't work.
MR MCDONALD: I hope you're working...
ME: I am! I'm just tying my shoe-lace.
MR MCDONALD: It's taking a long time to tie it...
ME: I have difficulties. 
It's true, I was a velcro girl for a ridiculously long time. Don't judge me.


Megan wondered over and pointed at the clock:
MEGAN: Why is that an upside down 2?
ME: ... That's a seven Megan.
I laughed for a minute, before turning the clock upside down and realising that she had a point:

MIND FOOOOOK!

We then bumped into Sam at the shops, with her BRIGHT purple hair.

I love that girls hair-colours.

She left school last December, and she had an interview at Farmfoods, so I was asking her how that went.

...

It didn't go great.

She bought a crappy £1.99 stapler from Spar because no-one in her flat had a stapler. Crazy.
ME: What's the stapler for?
SAM: Stapling together CV's... It's not going to work, is it?
ME: Not at all. Launch it at them if it doesn't work!
SAM: I might! I kept the receipt.
ME: Staple it to their heads!
SAM: Yeah, then it would work!
Sara then said that seeing Bev spontaneously burst into tears was one of the funniest things that Sara had seen, because Bev almost never cries. There are some people who you see cry a lot, some who've you seldom seen cry and some who you've never seen cry and I have never seen Bev cry, nor could I imagine her crying. She's too cheery to cry!

I wish I could say the same about myself.


Lauren xxx

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