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Sunday, 11 September 2011

Row row row your canoe, with your canoe sticks

Ahhh, oh so tranquil

Maybe I'm alone in this, but I love it when someone is adamant that something is right, when in fact, it's hilariously wrong.

We all do it. It a complete lapse in knowledge that everyone knows... apart from you.

Megan was told that in France, after they had their legs chopped off for food, frogs were given tiny wheelchairs so they continue living...

According to this artists representation,
Not only do they get to continue living...
They turn into athletes.


Michelle was unaware that the UK was an island until a couple of weeks ago...

Just what I thought Tennant.

And me? Well... If I could list the amount of knowledge that I lack, it would take up a HUGE majority of your time in life... something I'm not willing to do.

So I'll just say that I constantly forget the words to Happy Birthday (you know, the one that only ever has five words repeated?) and quite a few other, possibly more embarrassing ones... you never really know what knowledge you lack until someone points it out to you.


Linzie (along with a huge chunk of our year) went to an offshore oil conference thingy on Thursday.
ME: How did it go yesterday?
LINZIE: I got lots of freebies!
Always the most important thing, y'know?

So what kind of free stuff did they get you ask?

*cracks knuckle and puts on the most convincing "Generation Game" style voice you've ever heard*

Peeeenns! Pennncilllsss! Keeeyrinnngggss! (The crappy ones) Bouuunnccyyy ballss! Among other useless rubbish that you will never need to use in your life!

Mukhtar (Comedian in the making and thinks of himself as a modern day Romeo) was interviewed by a Radio station... Linzie, Laura and everyone else had to move away because they were laughing so hard...

Apparently, the interview was hilarious, but completely unusable due to the fact that:
a) All you could hear was laughing and
b) He was obviously slagging off the DJ

Linzie was then trying to sell tickets to the S1/S2 disco to the first years in our class...
LINZIE: *turns around enthusiastically* Would you like to buy tickets for the disco?!
FIRST YEAR: *Sceptically* How many have you sold?
LINZIE: Three. Would you like to come?
FIRST YEAR: No... but he would!
Haha, it's not that bad!
LINZIE: *after first years were out of ear-shot* I haven't sold any...

 ME: Don't become a car salesman.
We had (another) Prefects meeting during study.

It went as smoothly as the course of the Titanic...

(I.e. Not very smoothly, you could say it was a bit of a disaster)

Mainly, this was down to our Captain Dougal.

They always say a good Captain goes down with his ship... is that still true if the Captain steered the ship towards the obstacle that would result in it's downfall? If that's the case then yes, Dougal is an excellent Captain.

*shakes head* Dougal, what were you playing at you silly boy?!

Here's basically what was said:
*Amiable chatter*
*Silence... followed by nervous laughter after we realise this tremendous shout came from Dougal's lungs*
*Conor mumbles something, causing Abie to turn around and ask*
ABIE: Are you a prefect?!
CONOR: Only since the start of fifth year...
ABIE: Really?! I never knew that.
CHRIS: It's hard to miss him.
*We laugh cruelly*
DOUGAL: Shut up! *To Chris and Conor* Get out. I'm being serious, get out!
If that wasn't enough to get people hating on him...
DOUGAL: *Talking about the different prefect groups* They are fairly self explanitory, so I'd be wasting my time If I talked you through them, so the heads of the groups will get up and tell you more about them.
At this point, the heads really give him the biggest dirty look you've ever seen.

To avoid all the bitching that I knew would be going on in the common room following this outburst... I headed down to Science with Jennifer.

Whilst we were there, we booked a table for Pizza hut and checked the bus timetable.

You see, I was wearing a wristband so I could get into a Young Guns signing at Pulp at 5/5.30, then I'd meet Jennifer and Michelle so we could have something to eat and then go to Young Guns' gig at the Lemon Tree.

Michelle said she'd go in for Jennifer at quarter past five, but that means we might be a little bit late for Young Guns, so Jennifer phoned Michelle to tell her to come in for her half an hour earlier.

Of course, this was at quarter to nine in the morning... 

If you knew Michelle, you'd realise that she'd have probably only went to bed several hours before....

ME: *Directly after Jennifer dialled her number* Michelle will not be up now, you realise that, yeah? 
JENNIFER: *covers mouth* Oops. 
Also, let Jennifer listen to Paramore's new song, "Renegade", it's a live version because it hasn't been released yet, but I downloaded it (patience isn't something that I possess) and I kid you not, iTunes says that it's already got 100 plays. Urgh. Obsession.


I just cut up some newspapers.
Our art teacher is a Grandad, so we briefly discussed that:
SARA: Awww, can you imagine Mr McDonald as a Grandad? I don't like him as an Art teacher, I...
BEV: *puts on funny voice* I love him.
SARA: I think he'd make a good Grandad.
BEV: Oh. 
At lunch, I spoke to Sam for a whiley (That kid is hilarious, gutted I'm not in any of her classes) before going up to Sara's newsletter meeting.

You see, no-one turned up the week before, so me and Bev decided to go for moral support. 

But guess what?


Sara almost hugged them, I swear, haha!

Then Linzie came too, after coming from another meeting.

She's doing everything this year. It's the traffic light badges, most definitely.



This year, I actually like going to maths...

*feels head* What sort of disease is this?!

It's mainly due to Abie, Rachel, Jaye and Mr Shaw's seemingly perfect balance between joking comments and good teaching.

If Abie starts having a laughing fit, then believe me, we're all going down with her. She's got such an infectious laugh.

Ahh. That's where I caught my disease. Abie's infectious laugh. It all makes sense!

Anyways, we were talking about someone called Hayley, who is currently in a wheelchair (temporarily) due to having pins in her feet.

I couldn't hear the entire conversation because Rachel was laughing a lot, but here's what I think she said.
RACHEL: Whenever I see her, she sings "Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'" *laughs and does wheelchair rolling motion* "Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'!"
We all laugh
RACHEL: I just want to push her down a hill, and sing "Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'!" Into a river... "Rollin', Rollin', Rollin' on the river!"... Can you roll on a river?
ABIE: No! *laughs*
ME: Maybe if you put her on a canoe?
RACHEL: With canoe sticks?
ME: What? Do you mean paddles?
RACHEL: No! Canoe sticks!
MR SHAW: *Lugging in* Wh...
ABIE: What do you call the sticks you use to move a canoe? Rachel thinks they are called Canoe sticks.
They are called Paddles... Paddles or Oars. Not Canoe sticks, bless her. 

After school, I went to the Young Guns signing in Pulp, it went by really quick because everyone wanted pictures with the band, but I got a few words in with Gus, Simon, Fraser and John. Ben (the drummer and one of my favourite members) was dragged away before I got a chance to speak to him but he apolgised and gave me a smile so hey, I'm happy with that!

Also, Simon gave me a wink. Happy girl!

After that, we went to Pizza Hut for something to eat and a quick listen to Every Avenue and Young Guns (Michelle knew NONE of their songs... which is despicable, seen as we were going to their gig!)

Got one of these at the gig, hasn't been off my
wrist since.

Dangerous were first on. To be honest... I could only admire their enthusiasm. Screamo is something I feel can only be taken in small quantities, so having an Australian man screaming at you constantly wasn't really my thing.

Steve then wandered from out of the mosh pit (he wasn't in the mosh pit, thank God, that was insane, but he wandered out from just behind it) and gave me The Swellers first album. Again Steve, Thank you! 

Recommend that album to anyone who can find it.

Every Avenue then took the stage, they were probably my favourite support band, I prefer them live to their recorded stuff if I'm being honest!

The Xcerts were the final support band to come on, and they got a huge reaction because they are from Aberdeen (ABERDONIAN PRIDE!), that and, they are pretty damn awesome.

Fast forward fifteen minutes or so (and seven or eight "I'm losing my voice!"'s from me and several "How's my make-up!?"'s from Michelle) and it was finally time for Young Guns.

I've been waiting since May in complete and utter anticipation to see these guys perform, and they didn't disappoint.

I screamed the lyrics as loud as I could, we were all jumping and headbanging, all of the venue, all together. It was such a great atmosphere. And the performance itself? Brilliant.

Gus screamed at us:
GUS: I don't care if this is just a small Scottish venue, tonight, we are going to treat it like a huge f*cking arena! Get down on your knees!
And so, obediently, and with great difficulty, we all got down on our knees. 

This was during "Stitches", so imagine that, at 2.40, after a ten to twenty second pause, a crowd all leapt up, altogether and gave it their all. 

If you imagine a boy getting, basically, punched in the nose and having blood dripping down him, congratulations! You have a good imagination.

Right at the end of the night, they played one of my favourite songs ever.

It's even better live! *swoons*

Haha, at 3.06, you see Gus crowd-surfing.

What's hilarious is the fact that we almost dropped him...

Sorry Gus.

Lauren xxx

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