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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Thursday, 11 August 2011

When there's a championship for sex appeal, you know the world is a messed up place.

I introduce to you Taylor York, sex appeal champion 2011...

Okay, okay. Taylor York (sadly) isn't sex appeal champion 2011. However, there IS a sex appeal champion out there

Kind of weird to have a sex appeal champion. That's like having a sexy version Olympics. I'm pretty sure it would be exactly the same as the normal Olympics, only with models completing the sports... naked

Decided not google "naked Olympics" for a picture
Let your mind fill in the blank space.

Met Lucas in town on Monday for a catch-up session and to have something to eat.

Those of you who follow me on twitter (you poor wee souls) will know that I have been madly craving waffles for the past two weeks now. 

Last week I woke up to the smell of waffles...

I was alone in the house, and we never buy waffles.

I am losing it. 


Okay. I already lost it. A long time ago.

Anyways, two solid weeks of food craving makes you desperate:
ME: If they don't have waffles... I think I'll cry...
Which quickly turned into:
ME: I'll actually give them a lap dance... I just want my waffles! 
Guess what?

They ran out of waffles.

I managed to hold back the tears.

So Starbucks it was.

Lucas bought a really chocolatey cake (and, as is always the case, couldn't eat it all) whereas I opted for pancakes, covered with the slowest pouring syrup you've ever seen.

The slow-mo syrup amused us both.

What can I say? Not much exciting things have happened during the Summer holidays this year.

We accidentally bought sparkling water... which was disgusting.

Seriously! Who puts salty bubbles in water?!
If I wanted a carbonated drink, I'd buy an IRN BRU.

So the mosh monkeys (Our team name, don't even ask) decided that instead of  selling bubbles in water, we'd sell bubbles and water. 
LUCAS: We'd be selling two products that have already been invented, and selling them together.
That is the definition of genius, right there. 

Just don't drink the bubble liquid, thinking that it was the water instead.

I did something like that once. I wasn't looking at what I was doing, and I had placed my bottle of IRN BRU right next to a bottle of sun tan lotion. I took a swig from the sun tan lotion bottle. Let's just say my face looked a little like this:

Off to the bank next, where a child was trying to run away from her Mother.

She almost got out the door and onto Union Street when... BOOM! Her Mum comes over, picks her up and carries her towards the hole where money is transferred from the outside of the bank to the inside. 

I honestly thought the kid was getting shoved through the hatch.

Hey, weirder things have happened.

...I prove my point.

The mother didn't shove the kid down the hatch. The kid did however hang onto the door that separates staff from customers.
LUCAS: I hope someone doesn't come out of the door or that kid'll go flying.
She would have...

I'm going to be brutally honest, I'm not sure if the kid was a girl or a boy.

Man. I feel guilty.

Came across some weird albums in One up.

How about I tell you the top three weirdest album artworks/band names we saw?

Butterfly explosion - Crash... see you on the other side.

Butterfly explosion is an epic band name. Your mental images totally decide to confuse you.

On one end of the spectrum it's like:

D'aaw! Butterfly!

And on the other?

Explosions! Death! Destruction!
Mad guitar riffs and drum beats!

They make some really beautiful music.

My favourite has to be Carpark. Either that or Sophia. Not going to lie, they make awesome background tracks, they really mellow you out.

Next up, a band called Blood red shoes.

What makes them interesting?

Their album isn't red... it's blue!
LUCAS: Why is the album artwork blue when there name is Blood Red sho... *turns CD around* WOW!
Their first song?

Don't ask
LUCAS: So when people ask why their album is blue instead of red? They just turn the CD around and there it is, "Don't ask."
The last one is by  far the weirdest.

It's a band called Milk Man.... their album? Deerhoof.

And their album artwork looks a little (well... identical) to this:

LUCAS: Why has he got bananas stabbed in him? Why is he bleeding? Why is he wearing that mask... *gasps* Why is he wearing a strawberry as a hat?!
I don't know what I'm most haunted by...

The questions that is life, or Milk Man's music.

Expect the... uh.... unexpected. 

Lauren xxx

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