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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Thursday, 18 August 2011

What would you do if I wet myself right now?

You read right.

As always, all shall be explained.

(NOTE: Written about Wednesday. Giving you a heads up!)


One word: Balamory.

Elaborated description on why said word was chosen? Basically, in Study, Sophie, Abie, Rachel and Lauren were singing songs from the Children's show "Balamory".

This is our childhood.

I don't know if that's something to be proud
of or not.

SOPHIE: What was Edie McCreedie's song again? Duh, duh, duh duh duh duhh....
RACHEL: If something breaks it doesn't matter...
ALL TOGETHER: I can fix it with my spanner!
SOPHIE: Aww yeah, It's all coming back to me now. 
The amount of times I talk about Children's TV shows with my friends is shocking to say the least. 

This little dude is the trending topic of
my conversations 60% of the time.
Scientific fact.

Most of our time in "Study" (They really should think about re-naming that period) was spent singing songs from children's TV shows. 

The rest of our time was spent eating Conor's sweets and, in Kelman's case, scratching off the panels on scratch cards.

Oh, and having conversations such as:
ABIE: Conor! Have you been to see Mrs Fulton yet?
CONOR: A... *mumbles*
ABIE: *To Sophie* What? You mumble.
ABIE: No... It's because you mumble. 
Classic Shlaam.

And classic Abie. *shakes head* I know some right characters.

Anyways, Conor threw Sophie a sweet, which she sniffed sceptically.
SOPHIE: This isn't a nut one, is it? *sniffs it*
CONOR: Aye, I know how you like your nuts.
SOPHIE: You better hope I'm not allergic! *takes a tiny bite* 
Turns out, she wasn't allergic.

The boys then started to throw about the sweets. One hit off Conor's head and landed on the floor.

Abie was almost certain that they threw this sweet to Sophie.
SOPHIE: Did this tweet land on the floor?!
BOYS: Nooo...
ABIE: Don't eat it! It'll have a hair on it...
SOPHIE: *looks at sweet* It's one of the fine ones as well... Ach well. Ten second rule. *dusts sweet off and bites into it*
CONOR: Just eat it!
SOPHIE: Wooaah. Deja vu.
Then... an interesting development.
KELMAN: I think I've just won £67,000...
ABIE: If you have, you better give some to charity!
CONOR: F*ck that!
SOPHIE: A couple of grand each then?
You get your solid gold toilet...

And we can finally afford a few of these. 
Everyone's happy!

We then hear foot-steps... the clickety-clack of high heels from a close distance away...
SOPHIE: Opening book.... *flips note-book to an open page*

We fully expect Mrs Murray to come into the room looking like:

Instead, our head-teacher walked by...

Our head-teacher is a man.
Our head-teacher wears high heels?

Let's move on.


Moved approximately two doors down to our common room (it smells in there) 

Linzie decided to take several playful digs at Bev whilst doing her Accounting homework.
LINZIE: And the amount that you have saved is... £23,000!
BEV: Woo!
Turns out... It wasn't remotely close to that.  
ME: Linzie... don't become a banker.
BEV: *laughs* Sorry... I was going to do this *pulls sides of mouth apart with her fingers* and say "Banker".
SARA: ... Why?
BEV: Do it! Do it!
SARA: *thinks about it* ... OH! You're so immature. 
Other than that? Nothing much was said. I went on a waffle rant (three and a half weeks now!) and went down to help hunt out Mrs Murray with Lewis, Sam and Kati. 


First double period of my third year of doing the course... Yaaaay.

Mr Shaw is a really good teacher though. Don't tell him I told you. He's egocentric enough as it is. 

There's two Lauren's in my class (typical, such a common name!) so Mr Shaw puzzled over how to distinguish us.
MR SHAW: We'll call you *thrusts hands at other Lauren* Lauren you and you *Thrusts hands at me* Lauren you.
Uhh... That makes... sense?

After two hours of Maths and awkward silences, Rachel decided she needed a pee.
RACHEL: What would you do if I went myself right now?
ABIE: That would be... awkward. 
RACHEL: What would you do if I aimed it at you?
ABIE: What?!
RACHEL: What would you do if I aimed it at you? *turns self towards Abie and "pretends to pee on her"*
I can't remember the rest of the conversation, I was laughing too hard. 

And that was my Wednesday! 

Good times, good times.

Lauren xxx

1 comment:

  1. You make me feel old... Teletubbie came out when I was in middle school.