About Me

My photo

Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Monday, 4 July 2011

The questions that haunt me.

The only problem with humorous questions?

No-one takes you seriously.

Take "If a transvestite goes missing, do they put their faces on a carton of half and half?" for example.

For a week and a half, Kelly has been searching for the answer to that question.

And every-time she asks someone, what do they do? Laugh. They laugh in her face.

Apparently, transvestites do not get put on cartons of half and half when they go missing. Some kind soul on yahoo answers pointed out that instead of putting their faces on milk cartons, they "put it on the side of the tumbleweed that just blew past that joke".

This is a picture of that kind soul.
What a gorgeous creature.


Nothing happened. I read "Vernon God Little"... I mean, I attempted to.

Oh! No, Megan came through.
MEGAN: *bashfully, rubbing toe into ground whilst staring at her foot* Would anyone like to play a game?
MEGAN: Yes, we need four people.
MRS ANDERSON: *sighs* I'll send them through.
MEGAN: Yay! We get to play a game! *skips away merrily* 
My best friend everyone!

(DISCLAIMER: I hate choosing one best friend, I have four, whom I love equally.) 


Sara and I headed out early and had a lovely sit down in Starbucks whilst we waited for an acceptable time to head down to Grammar.

She won't believe it when I tell her, but she's awesome.


We were offered sandwiches... no-one accepted one.

Never refuse a sandwich

Unless you are offered it by a teacher. 
Then knock it out of their hand and run away.

Listen to Nicki Minaj wannabe cat.

What's that? The cat looks nothing like Nicki Minaj?

Separated at birth.

Lauren xxx


  1. I don't know if I was just having an over-sensitive day but I can remember being really annoyed when I heard someone say that a transgender person's theme tune should be Both Sides Now. It was partly because I thought it was unnecessary and in bad taste (people are people as Depeche Mode used to sing, and possibly still do), and also because Both Sides Now is another of my favourite songs. I don't think it should have been belittled in that way - and the same goes for people, whatever lifestyle they choose as long as it's legal.
    Steve (as if you needed to be told!)

    PS: I have some more song lyrics which I'd like to post but I can't see an obvious place for them. If you're blogging on an environmental theme in the future, Lauren, I'll share them then!

  2. I don't think a group of people should be given a theme tune... isn't it a personal thing? Music in general is personal, in fact, is anything more personal than music?!