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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Saturday, 9 July 2011

Lesbian on a stick?

Ever notice how life seems to take whatever plans you have made for the day and turn them upside down?


Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, I hate it when that happens, usually because it ends up in a cancellation, or bad weather... or something else equally undesirable.


However, yesterday was one of those days where I was grateful for life messing up my plans.


My plans for the day consisted of three things:




(Not watching "Banana's in pyjamas but
lounging about in Pyjamas)




Just your typical lazy day.


Then Megan phoned.


And when Megan phones, you know your day just got ten times better (A scientific statistic for a scientific fact)


After a half an hour phone conversation, she came round and we ate twister ice-creams and "pish food"...


Pish food, phish food
Close enough, right?

We started watching Scooby Doo as well, what a great show! I don't understand Scooby half of the time though, and I felt bad because I was pointing out all of the continuation faults and ruining the show for her. 


Two observations about Scooby Doo:
a) The villians were truly terrifying. No wonder my generation are so messed up.
b) How many times does Velma have to lose her glasses before finally bites the bullet and gets contact lenses?!




C'mon Velma, you're meant to be the smart one.


Megan doesn't often come over to mine's for Dinner these days. Not because my family don't love her to pieces, but because she's a vegeterian and we don't know how to cater for her.


Anything that we would give her would make her feel 
as though she was being treated like a rabbit...
Or a heavily moustached man who dislikes peppers.


So we decided to take her out for Dinner.
ME: What do you want Megan?
MEGAN: *fiddles about with stick* Lesbian on a stick?
Eating animals? Nah. That is sick and WRONG!
Eating humans? Why not?


After Scooby Doo was finished, we started flicking through the channels and came across "Annie", a musical which Megan had just helped the first to third years out with... yeah. It wasn't going so well when she started helping out. There were lots of problems when it came to organisation.


Needless to say, Megan doesn't like Annie that much now.
MEGAN: Urggh, urrggh, urggh! Annie is so annoying! "The sun will come outtttt, TOOOO-MOORRRR-OOOWW!"
ME: Don't you just want to shout "THIS IS WHY YOU'RE ORPHANED!" at the TV?
I can't really type what Megan said next... even the above comment was slightly risque. 


I can say that it deserved this reaction:
ME: What?
MEGAN: *shifty eyes* What? 
Despite her hatred for "Annie", musicals are one of Megan's biggest passions in life, and she really dislikes the "Pop, hippy, jazz stuff" that the rest of our generation listen to (I think she means pop, rock, R&B, metal, dance and any other  genre of popular music)


So we headed off to Union Square to have a Pizza hut and drink some "calo-rific" milkshakes (they were really good)


The waitress (the one that Megan kept insulting within her earshot) took over two salad bowls for us. For some odd reason, they were shaped in such a way that it became impossible to not put them up against your boobs.
See Ariel's bra?
It's actually two shell shaped salad bowls.
She feels our pain.

Then the waitress gave us the bill.
MEGAN: What's her name? Manki?
ME: It's Fion... *reads bill* Oh... errm... Manki? 
I think it's meant to say Thanks.


Have you noticed how many CCTV cameras there are these days?


I have... and I'm getting Paranoid.
ME: There's another camera up there...
MEGAN: Where?
ME: There.
MEGAN: There?
ME: That's a bird house Megan. 
But you can never be too sure
these days...

Lauren xxx

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