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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Sunday, 26 June 2011

Dr Seuss can inspire Advanced Higher art and don't let anyone tell you differently!

He really does look like a Doctor...
I think it's the stripy hat.
I suppose the guy in the glasses has 
a certain "Doctor vibe" about him too.


I was quite happily reading the book that Mrs Sparkly hat (Goddammit Sara, you've got me calling her that too) gave me when bang.

Okay... wrong use of onomatopoeia. 


In walks Mr Whyte.

Reading is disrupted, the prefects had to go down to the science lecture theatre, which is home to the most uncomfortable seat in the universe...

Okay... second most uncomfortable
seat in the universe.

So there we sat, bored, uncomfortable, hot... and barely listening.

There was a debate about the effectiveness of the new way of registration, where they put first, second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth years together in one class.

Most of us didn't like the new way, mainly because either:
a) We were separated from our friends or 
b) We had to put up with little... annoyances.

Mr Hughson fought fiercely for his opinion on the matter to be heard:
MR HUGHSON: Before, a third or fourth year, as often the case, was acting up in registration and it set a bad start to the working day. I've heard some stories about fourth years doing something stupid, and a few of the seniors have turned around and said "Stop playing the goat!"
ABIE: Who said that?
ME: Who says goat?
Creeping children out since birth.


Free period was spent in the library.

I know, what a good little nerd I am...

HOWEVER, I was looking up Banksy.

So, call me a nerd if need be... but be sure to put "rebellious" before it.

I couldn't find a picture of
a rebellious nerd... So please,
 accept this picture of a rebellious
 goat instead.

Banksy is awesome... nothing but respect!


Kelly was looking for tinsel.

You see, she was trying to make top hats for her art folio. Top hats based on different occasions.

Kelly is a genius. At least... I think she is. Some others must think she is an idiot, because her questions are so random and her design work is innovative. But as Einstein said:
"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."
I agree with that. 

My blog, my opinion though, right?

Kelly is a genius.

I have no doubt in my mind that her top hats are going to look amazing.

But right now? They are plain and quite honestly, look like they came from a high end, Amish boutique.

Sure, it looks like this now.
Give her a few months and it will have fairy lights, 
tinsel, a Christmas tree and baubles galore.

Mr Aburtnott asked what Kelly was doing her folio on:
KELLY: Hats.
KELLY: NO! Hats.
MR ARBURTHNOTT: Cats on hats?
KELLY No. Just hats.
MR ARBURTHNOTT: You could have cats on hats. 
Kelly wasn't sold on this idea.

And with that, we were off to find tinsel. We went to the base first:
KELLY: Have you got any tinsel?
TEACHER: ... You do know it's not December, right? 
People at the base usually have some sort of learning difficulty... so patronizing questions are a common occurrence. But asking if someone knows it's December? That's taking the biscuit!

And don't you just hate thieves?

We then went to P.E, and they had tinsel... in fact, they had several pieces of tinsel and fairy lights!

Needless to say, these lights were the first things to be tested out when we got back to the classroom.

After that we began playing about with the tinsel got back to work immediately.

Kelly had it wrapped around her head and neck.

Then she forgot she had it on and went through to the Computer room...

But not before she bumped into Mr Tullock and Mr Arbutnott...
MR ARBURTNOTT: She's lost it.
MR TULLOCK: Cuck-ooo!
MR ARBURTNOTT: She's been on the edge for a while but she's finally lost it.
I was really amused/angry by the fact that I walked by my twitter friend Andi, without even recognising it was him.

Well... I said to myself, when I looked at his face and then at his camera:
"Hmmm... that could be Andi... naaah!"
But it was... small world huh?

Mr McDonald was away for the whole double period. We had no cover teacher. We could have easily went home. And yet, only one of us had the sense to.

Not going to name that person... you know... just incase the school liaison officer stumbled her way onto this blog and started reading (hey, weirder things have happened)

The night was the best part of Friday though!

Went to the cinema with one of my best friends, Halle, to see "Bridesmaids".

I think I'll review it later on. It's brilliant! Go see it if you can!

My favourite quote of the film was:
"Do you want to put your American sausage in my English McMuffin?"
We were forced to go on a wee journey because the 3 bus stops were changed because of the road works and we didn't really know where we had to stand to get on the bus.

We walked across the bridge into Torry and watched the sea cadets practising rowing...

Yeah... they needed the practice.

They were going round in circles.
ME: If these are the new sea cadets then we're screwed.
Once we got off the bus, we got tooted at by a car, turning round, I realise that it's Calum and Sophie.

^My face when I realised it was them^

Have you ever tried giving someone a hug through a car window?

It's not an easy task, but for Calum and Sophie, I gave it a damn good shot. I love those guys. 
SOPHIE: Where are you two going?
ME: We're going to toast marshmallows. Where are you's off to?
SOPHIE: We're away to someone's party, it's their 18th.
I loved that, they were off to get bleezing and we were off to eat marshmallows... awooo!

That's how we roll! 

So after that, we went back to Halle's Grandparents' house and toasted marshmallows on forks, on a gas fire barbecue as we listened to songs on a boombox style "wireless".

Halle started singing (and yes, dancing too) along to certain songs... one particular song sounded like it was sung by what could only be described as a castrated male and caused her to go so high, several local dogs began barking.

Not even kidding you.

Forget the opera stars breaking the glass with the beauty of their voice... Halle can make dogs howl! That's more impressive than breaking glass.

Anyone can do that...
Just find a glass and a hammer.

Some of the marshmallows we toasted were a little bit...


Marhsmallows burn really well. They are like pieces of edible wood.

Edible wood? I'm writing this at 2am. Please, forgive me for this making no sense what so-ever.

Lauren xxx


  1. Ever the opportunist, I found the Amish reference too good an opportunity to pass up reprising Weird Al Yankovic's parody lyrics for Amish Paradise. With apologies to any Amish readers (as if!!!) and to those not familiar with Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio - it will make MUCH more sense if you do know it, so a wee trip to Youtube might be in order. Enjoy!

    As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
    I take a look at my wife and realise she's very plain
    But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
    You know I shun fancy things like electricity

    At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milking cows
    Jedediah feeds the chickens and Jacob ploughs, fool
    And I've been milking and ploughing so long that
    Even Ezekial thinks that my mind is gone

    I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
    Got a bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
    But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
    Then tonight we're going to party like it's 1699

    We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
    I churn butter once or twice, living in an Amish paradise
    It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise
    We sell quilts at discount price, living in an Amish paradise

    A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
    I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek
    I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
    'Cause I'll be laughin' my head off when he's burnin' in hell

    But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
    An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of
    I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat
    And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool

    If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
    We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
    But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
    We're just technologically impaired

    There's no phone, no lights, no motorcars, not a single luxury
    Like Robinson Crusoe, it's as primitive as can be

    We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
    We're just plain and simple guys, living in an Amish paradise
    There's no time for sin and vice, living in an Amish paradise
    We don't fight, we all play nice, living in an Amish paradise

    Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
    Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise a nutter
    Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
    Well, I know, I'm a million times as humble as thou art

    I'm the pioust guy the little Amletts want to be like
    On my knees day and night scoring points for the afterlife
    So don't be vain, and don't be whiney
    Or else my brother might have to get medieval on your hiney

    We've been spending most our lives living in an Amish paradise
    We're all crazy Mennonites, living in an Amish paradise
    There's no cops or traffic lights, living in an Amish paradise
    But you'd probably think it bites, living in an Amish paradise

  2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo74Dn7W_pA It's legendary! Haha, I'm not sure how I haven't heard of that before.