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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Best. Catch. Eveeer!

Made sure I was on time for registration this morning.

Linzie would have murdered me if she was left on her own again. Literally, murdered. You should have seen her face yesterday, nae messing!

Bumped into her at the bus stop though, So that was fine.

We ended up getting on a yellow bus (not all bad, you get on that one for free), but there was no more seats so me and Linzie ended up standing, that was difficult, seen as there were no poles to hold onto. At all.

Linzie then proceeded in holding onto my arm for support.

Got as much balance as this kid.
Now you know that, carefully reconsider using
me as support. I recommend using a carboard cutout? 
Much safer

A little while later, know what she said?
LINZIE: It feels like we're on safari!
ME: Where are all the animals?
LINZIE: On the bus!
Oooh, touche!  

(We had Study first, but it was so boring, I'm going to spare you the details!)


Instead of staying in the common room, me and Megan went on a "Ribena experience" as she so cutely put it. Basically, we went outside, sat in the sunshine, and drank some ribena.

It was heavenly.

But she wished it was gin. Haha, everyone's an alcoholic these days.

She was carrying around a mirror too, screaming:
MEGAN: I'm not vain!!
She isn't! She doesn't even need to look in a mirror to do her make-up or her hair. And she was only carrying around the mirror for artistic purposes.

Want proof she's not vain? She was holding the mirror, in her hands, and she still looked at her reflection in a pane of glass, rather than look in her mirror.

It's not stupidity to do that...
I swear!


Best double period of Advanced Higher art ever!

So what if it's only the third double of Advanced Higher Art I've had? It was awesome!

Mr McDonald seems to have forgotten or misunderstood that the aim of the project was to produce meaningful photos depicting social issues, and instead 
got me choosing objects from the still life section...

So I chose:
A toast rack.
A tiny formula one car that is falling to pieces.
An old ship.

Whilst Kelly played with the tiny oars of the ship (bless), Mr McDonald started talking to me about the reason he got me to choose objects.
MR McDONALD: You should take pictures of the objects around the school. Put them in places where you wouldn't expect to see them. 
KELLY: Like a tree?
MR McDONALD: Yes, go outside and take some pictures of the ship in strange locations.
*We both turn to Kelly, who looks up momentarily from playing with the oars, giggles in amusement and then returns to playing with the oars again*
He told me to take her with me... I can't remember whether or not this was a suggestion or a command, either way, I'm happy he said it.

So, we found a bush, we clambered inside of it (this bush was in the middle of the school's ground, so imagine how it must have looked to passers by) and started placing the boat in different positions.
KELLY: Let's just shove it through the hole.

So, we "shoved it through the hole", and I watched in absolute terror as it began to dislodge and fell helplessly towards the ground...

This is one OLD ship. If it came back to the art department in pieces, he wouldn't be happy!

Enter Batman!
(I.e. Kelly)

She grabs the boat, by the sail, with two fingers, right before it hits the ground.

I stare at her in awe. She stares at me in awe.
KELLY: Best. Catch. EVEEER!
We carried on taking photos, perhaps for the next fifteen minutes, Kelly shouting:
KELLY: We're not peeing!
To literally every person that walked past.
KELLY: You say "We're not peeing" and sure, people look at you like "What the hell?" but then they think "Oh well, their not peeing" and carry on.
And you wondered why I missed this kid?

We went to the P.E. department after that, putting our ships among balls (BASKETballs) and stuck it down drain holes.
KELLY: This hole is cleaner than that hole!
Again,say nothing!

Finally, we went up the stairs and to the first floor, Mrs Fulton and Mrs Anderson were chatting in the corridor...
ME: *to Kelly* Oh faaaantastic...
At this point in time, I knew that something would be said about walking through school with a ship and a camera. I wasn't wrong. 
MRS ANDERSON: *looks up* The boats of the night are coming!
Kelly begins to make the ship move as though it is sailing through waves, Mrs Fulton sees the boat and leaps back.
MRS FULTON: I thought I was hallucinating!
Bwaha! You've got to love Full-o.

We then went to the library to get some ironic shots...

We found a book titled "World's worst shipping disasters" and made the boat crash into it.

Irony rules!!


Man... this double was awkward!

I'd like to point out that my class consists of some of the loveliest people you will ever meet. 

Sara, Dougal, Suzie, Ashleigh, Emma... The other people seem lovely too, but I haven't really had a chance to speak to them yet. Our teacher is even an absolute sweetheart! But we have a problem...

We don't like speaking.

Actually, we have a real problem with it. Advanced Higher English is not a "Let's listen to the teacher and write down what she's saying" kind of course. It's a "discuss your own damn opinions and stop being such a lazy ass!" kind of course. There is no right. There is no wrong. Everything can be correct if you argue it passionately enough.

When you don't speak, the "discuss your own damn opinions" becomes a problem. And problems like that are not. Good.

I would have easily spoke. Ms Struthers is cool. My class are cool. I'd be more than okay to speak. BUT...

It was pure silence. No-one wants to be the first person to break that silence. So the silence is prolonged.

We did some ice breaking exercises to attempt to break the silence and bond.

We were asking and answering a lot of question really.

"If you could be any type of animal, mythical or real, what would it be?"

To which Sara asked:
SARA: Is a fairy considered to be an animal?
I'd say sure. Why the hell not.

She decided to be a fish instead though, because she'd like to swim well.
DOUGAL: I would like to be a cat, because they can sleep all day and no-one shouts at them, and they can also lick themselves all over. 

I can't remember what she said but Ms Struthers moved along the conversation at this point.

"What's your favourite food?"
SARA: Chicken super-noodles, because you can eat them whenever!
MS STRUTHERS: Oh, you're all set for University already! We used to have supernoodle toasties.
THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD: Fantastic idea Lauren, fantastic idea!
I can't really remember what I said... I usually spout out absolute crap when put under pressure or when I don't feel one hundred percent comfortable:
ME: I love the Chicken Katsu Curry from yo sushi, I seriously recommend you try that, unless you are a vegetarian... then I don't recommend it at all. 
I'm sure I have a condition. When there's more than five sets of eyes on me, my head just says: 
"You know what? Screw it. Say whatever you want. I want to see you crash and burn."
Yeah. My head is a douche.

Lauren xxx

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