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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Saturday, 7 May 2011

She might not be athletic, but she does the best impression of a Japanese Chicken that I have ever seen.

Why does that sound like a Fall Out Boy or a Panic! At the Disco song? 

"There's a good reason these tables are numbered honey, you just haven't thought of it yet"

"Our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn't get sued"

"Disloyal order of water buffaloes"

"I slept with someone in fall out boy and all i got was this stupid song written about me"

"The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage"

Yeah, "She might not be athletic, but she does the best impression of a Japanese Chicken that I have ever seen" is a pretty epic song title.

Typed in "Japanese chicken" and this is what came up.
That's actually a coq. A pretty nice one at that.

No... wait....


So we did a lot of work today, I ran for a good ten min...

Haha! Oh man... *wipes tears from eyes* I couldn't even type that one without laughing. We did nothing. Again.

Had a lovely chat with Megan and Kelly however. About tattoos gone bad. And Glee. As you do.

Some tattoos are just really bad.

Some Japanese dude ended up getting "Do me up the butt" tattooed on his arm because he didn't know what it meant.

Even THIS guy thinks that guy is an idiot.
And he's really not in a position to judge.
Is it appropriate to say "IS NICE!" here?

KELLY: Wouldn't it be weird if a Japanese man wore a "Rapist" shirt to an airport because he didn't understand what it meant and the airline security were like "...Yeah, you're not getting in". And the Japanese man had to get it translated so he understood why he wasn't allowed into the country, and then he said... "aahhhh... no no no!!"
She tried her very best to do this in a Japanese accent. Have you ever heard a Japanese person saying "No no no!!!" It's adorable, and very distinctive. Kelly did a pretty awesome job mimicking this.
KELLY: He'd be like... uhhh... "Goopa jagge floo yaa!"
MEGAN: ....
ME: That's Norwegian!!
KELLY: What's Japanese then?
ME: "Konichiwa Katsu teriyaki miso!!"
Roughly translated into "Hello chicken products/sushi."

SOMEHOW, the conversation switched from this... to....
ASHLEIGH: We need to go to yo sushi with Rapist t-shirts on.
KELLY: Carrying a chicken under our arm!!
ME: Yes, we're going to get into Yo! sushi with a rapist t-shirt whilst carrying a chicken!!
Some of the conversations I have...

Even this dog disapproves of them.
ME: But we couldn't have rapist like rapist... it would need to be an abbreviation for something longer. Royal Appreciation Society for informational sh*t teriyaki's?
It makes no sense. At all. But the best abbreviations spell an inappropriate word and are completely nonsense any ways, so I don't mind! 

Megan and Kelly were doing a tag team effort, reciting some of "Glee's" best lines.
MEGAN: Wait... cucumbers can give you aids?
KELLY: Because I totally just had one of them in my salad.

I love my friends.

I don't love cucumbers

I got Kelly to do her Scared Japanese man impression again.... She still couldn't speak Japanese.
KELLY: Brawwkaa Brika bra!
ME: Sounds like a Japanese chicken....
Hence the title.


Everyone was stressing out... understandably. It was Wednesday mid-morning, when Mr McDonald casually dropped a bombshell...

Our whole years work wasn't to be done in two days.... It was to be done in one. 

Queue panic mode. What a tense atmosphere.

I was fairly determined to finish on time (NOTE: It didn't happen), so I went in at lunch-time with Aaron and Lewis.

Those two are great guys! We had a nice chat. Lewis was a little too honest, but I respect him for that.


We tried to write a Macbeth essay... the class ended up trying to stay awake instead...

Oh dear God, I hope we pass this exam...


Revision time!
LINZIE: Where's your pituitary gland?
ANON: In your bum.
ME: ... It's in your brain.
ANON: Ohhhh! I was thinking of your prostate gland. My bad.
NOTE: This person did not want to be named, and said that they would leave nasty comment if this conversation ends up on my blog.... I didn't name any names!

Milton wandered into Biology fifteen minutes late... and not very... sober.
ABIE: Are you drunk?!
MILTON: No... but I have been drinking.
He had two pints of beer and vodka shots. At lunchtime. When he knew he had a class last.

My school is full of alcoholics.

Five people have been excluded because they were drinking at prom. That's Kincorth for you! 

Lauren xxx

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