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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Monday blues? Monday yellows!

IN YOUR FACE, SADNESS.

Yellow is a very full on colour right?

I like it. Just not on clothing.

Some clothing, sure, whatever, it's nice! But on most? It's.... eh.

Anyways... onto the original point of the post... this Monday has been an amazing Monday!! 

Okay, so I literally had four hours sleep, but I was happy!

If a cinema trip wasn't planned in advance, I could have easily went back to sleep... the rain and the wind outside was just terrible.

But I braved it (the idiotic choice that may be)
 much like this guy.
And I got blown away...
much like this guy.

Went in for Michelle, and she came to the door with a flimsy (but very cute) brolly. 
Looked kind of like this.

You want to buy that umbrella?

You can find a broken one on  one of First's Aberdeen buses.

Or... you could always buy it from here... If you are not a cheap-scape.

Anyways, she came to the door with that umberella and the little voice in my head just said:
"You idiot."
I mean that in the nicest, most respectful way possible. Wind and flimsy brolly's don't mix. As Michelle soon found out.


She literally walked out of the house and "WHOOSH". Umbrella was inside out already. 


And it becomes less like a device to keep
you dry, and more like a fashionable bucket.

It didn't help that it had a leak in it.

Being the girls that we are, we decided to run away from the rain (like that's ever worked out) and I still had my umbrella up, so my vision was impaired fairly dramatically (i.e. I couldn't see in front of me at all).

Can you see what's coming?


Boom. Face. Meets. Lamppost.

It pains me to have to type that. What sort of nerd runs into a lamppost?!

Went to see "Hanna" in the cinema. I reviewed it last night, but I didn't have internet connection so I couldn't post it. Soon. I'll post it soon. I had difficulty pinpointing what I hated about it. The direction was the only thing I liked about that movie. If I didn't have this thing about not walking out of movies, I would have been out of there within the first ten minutes.


We had a Frankie and Benny's after that. Fine as always! Had the BBQ Chicken pizza (what's new there?) but had extreme difficulty attempting to cut it up. I needed a chainsaw to break that MoFo up!! 
MICHELLE: Is it sharp?
*I attempt to cut my finger. It fails.*
ME: Nope.  Not at all.
Gah.


She then told me about the legendary facebook statuses.
MICHELLE: There's this girl who was saying "I'd love to take a trip down the canal" and her boyfriend replied "Take away the C and we have ourselves a date". 
This kid is hilarious. I miss not seeing her everyday, but It makes the times I do see her even more awesome.


She was attempting to try on a shirt in Vero Moda's changing room (a shirt that she picked out and I immediately went "Oooh! I want that shirt". Why does that always happen?) but she was confused by the whole concept of them.


You see, Vero Moda have weird changing rooms. Essentially, they are leather showers curtains. 


Seriously.


So I had to sneak under the curtain and unhook it, which somehow resulted in me managing to hit myself on the head with the hook.


My life people. My life.


Speaking of my life, Michelle and I were trying to determine what we would call our autobiography's.


Michelle's would be:
 "...And then two came at once" 
Because we used to talk like old ladies when we were waiting for the school bus in the morning.
MICHELLE: Two 3's and no 21's!
ME: That's been half an hour and no 21's!
Our moaning knows no bounds when it comes to buses.


Mine's would be either:
"307 pages of sh*t"
or
"How to survive a mutant duck attack".
First one is incredibly literal. Second one is a prviate joke...


Which I agree to share with you.


Reminiscing colour is blue by the way, just so you know.


It was Third year (perhaps it was fourth, it was a while ago, let's lay that down if nothing else) and we were doing talks in English.


It was a pretty epic idea to base talks on. We were role playing (Do NOT give this story some sort of kinky flare. There was none) and were given a job. Some people were pilots, some people were postmen, some people were Nelson Mandela (because apparently, that's a job title). We were then put into groups of four and were told that we would be pitted against each other in an attempt to survive (as we were fighting over the last remaining spot in a nuclear bunker before a nuclear bomb killed the earth... did I forget to mention that?)


Anyways, I was a soldier. And I don't prepare my talks, I wing it. I wing it like a chicken wing.


I did have ONE line prepared however:
"Most of the people I have argued against have tried to convince you that soldiers are violent murderers but think of this... we don't start wars. We finish them."
So proud of that line. Then Dougal stole it *sticks out tongue*


Turns out,  I should have prepared a lot more of that talk.
"And I'm strong, so I will be able to open the tin cans of food and I will be able to fight off the mutant ducks..."
Yes. In the future, when the bomb detonates and the world is thrown into nuclear holocaust....  there will be mutant ducks. And you will die unless I am there to protect you.


My class saved Nelson Mandela.
 "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world"
Hope those quotes help you while Mutant ducks are chowing down on your asses...


Me? Bitter? NEVER. 


Lauren xxx

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