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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Don't join a Japanese kidnapping site...

You get the messages, you know the ones, asking you to join some crazy foreign social networking site... "Hey!" you say, "What's the worst that could happen if I joined 'www.ukaii.co.jp'? I could meet some really cool people!"


What you don't realise is that Ukaii is the phonetic word for kidnap in Japanese.


You just joined a social networking site for kidnappers.

Before you know it, three 5ft 4" ninjas are coming after you and shove you in a cardboard box marked "Alaska".




This is you.
Apart from you won't be smiling.

And you'll be wearing this.

More on that later.

DOUBLE ENGLISH

So I was late.

If a bus timetable says a 21 is coming at 8.22... then a bus should come at 8.22!!! 

Buses get on my nut.

Although, I did find out that it was Scott that told the person who wrote "Osama Bin Laden" as the reason for lateness on the late board to write it down.

What a legend.

I was strolling casually along the English corridor at 9am, you know, only fifteen minutes late (Well, If I can't be fashionable, I'll at least be fashionably late) when I saw Mrs Fulton walking along the other side.

So I'm like:
"Okay... I'm late for class when we're meant to be writing essays, whatcha gonna say?"
She said nothing. Actually, she waved.


I'm going to miss Mrs Fulton.


I'm going to miss Lee too, I keep forgetting that she's going to leave... it's insane! Everyone's leaving!


I think it's because I keep telling myself that I'll see Lee a lot. Hopefully I'm not lying to myself. I probably am. I'm happy to live a lie, as long as I'm ignorant to the fact that it is a lie.


Which seems to be my motto these days...


That's not good... is it?


Lauren complained about the apple cups you can buy from school today.


Public enemy number one.
LAUREN: * makes a frustrated noise that resembles an orgasming chicken* Why can't I open this?! These are made for 5 year olds, how can they open it if 16 year olds can't even open it?!
ME: Because 5 year olds are pretty smart.
LAUREN: True...
ME: But they still believe in Santa.
LAUREN: I used to like Santa!!
ME: Aww.... did you fall out with him?
Sometimes... the oppurtunity for stupid comments are far too tempting to turn down.
LAUREN: I used to get told that Santa came down the chimney... then I realised that we don't have a chimney... So my Dad told me that he left the key outside for Santa.
ME: That could have ended so badly. "Ooooh, If I leave this key outside in January... I'll get double the presents!!" Come down in the morning, "SANTA TOOK BACK THE PRESENTS! And the TV!!" 
"Santa" is mean like that.


DOUBLE BIOLOGY


Prelim... enough said?


I keep thinking to myself that I'll do well... that I have revised enough to get a good grade.


Then, they throw me weird questions that throw me off track and I end up making what I like to call "not-so educated guesses".


"The lack of which enzyme contributes to the build up of phenylaline?"


Urgh... It's an enzyme... so it could end in "ase"... what sounds cool?


Pepsase.


It's actually Phenylalanine hydroxylase, but how was I meant to remember that?!


Abie kept herself amused by taking photos in the middle of the exam... Dr Robertson wasn't very observant.


She was taking photos of her calculator... she seriously fell in love with it. It looked like a pocked dictionary, you know, encased in a little cover with buttons on the inside. It said "laptop" on it, so Abie whapped oot the iPhone and, slowly but surely, took a photo of it.


*shakes head* Awww Abie!


Went to Yo! Sushi at night for Dinner with Ashleigh and Andrew, great fun!


Ashleigh started chatting to me about the progressive strangeness of Lady Gaga's videos...
ASHLEIGH: I mean, you started off with "Just dance"... They were at a party, it was normal!
ME: Yeah, that was fairly normal... Apart from the part where she humped a whale.
ASHLEIGH:  They were on LSD, these things happen.
Stole this from Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" video
shoot after party. Can you honestly
say you're surprised?

Somehow, Japanese kidnapping sites spawned from this conversation.

Natural progression of just about EVERY single conversation I have.

That's a worrying fact...

...
It got awkward, so I thought I would distract
you with this picture of a puppy.
N'yaaaw! Look at his tongue!

Andrew bought a bubble blower from the Kids section of Asda... wanna see it?

Kids section.
Bubble blower.

Sorry... Johnny is nuts.

Just read this on his facebook:
"Just discovered i slept in the bed i was conceived in last night."
Was a...

moment.

We went to the Batcave with Osama Bin Laden to vagazzle after that.


Putting "skilled in the art of making inappropriate comments" on my C.V.


Then we bought eachother leaving cards... in the presence of one another.


Failure? I prefer the term "epic win".

I bought Ashleigh a card that looked like a piece of toast... I almost ate it.



Not going to lie.


Lauren xxx


P.S. Would like to take the oppurtunity to say that I LOVE hanging out with Andrew and Ashleigh ^_^ Had such a great time.

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