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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Saturday, 23 April 2011


Greg + Jenga = Gregenga! 

Or is it 4?


No wonder I failed maths.


Speaking of failing, I had a NAB to revise for... which I didn't want to fail (did I have to add that in? Or did you know what I was getting at there?)

Sadly, not much revision was done.

Our study class is too funny.

Linzie, Andrew and Sara were playing jenga on Greg's head with books.

They managed to create quite a pile, before Greg moved his head and the entire pile came crashing down.

That's Gregenga for you.

Our study class is actually the classroom of one of the two lesbian English teachers.

She's got film posters all over the walls, all of very hot men. Or great films. Or penguins. Or hot penguins in films.
LINZIE: If this is Mrs Ashley's room... why are there pictures of men all over the walls?
SARA: Maybe she's bisexual?
Fair dues. 
I failed my second Maths prelim.


He was being a douche about the whole situation anyways, reading aloud people's scores isn't respectful. Especially if they did not do well. Even worse is when this conversation goes down:
MR HUGHES: That's improvement though, it's okay, that's improvement.
MR SHAW: That's improvement? *Makes shocked face and leaves*
It makes me angry when that happens. People tried their best and they don't deserve those types of mean comments to bring them down.

The sooner I can get out of that department, the better.

NOTE: That does not mean I want to get away from people like Calum, Sophie, Dougal, Danielle and co. In fact, it's quite to opposite. But I cannot deal with another year of the hell that is maths!!

Mr Hughes did tell us however that we should go to the library to study...

Someone asked him if that's what he used to do.
SOPHIE: Awwww! Can't you just imagine little Hughesy?
I can actually... In fact, I've got an old family photo of him as a toddler!

And later, as a child, with a killer bowl-cut, being forced to study and become a maths teacher...

"But I don't want to be a Maths teacher...


NAB. Fooooook.

NAB re-sit. FOOOOK.
DOD: Tell me what a bar graph looks like... Lauren.
ME: *in my head* FOOOOK!
Trying to describe a bar graph is like trying to describe a colour. You CAN'T explain what it is unless you state what it is. *sigh*

The NAB wasn't too difficult, so it was okay.

And me, Sara and Lucas ended up speaking to two Torry girls that have been in our class since... last June? And we've never really sat down to talk to them properly.

Which, if you think about it, is kind of tragic! Because they are really adorably sweet! 
HANNAH: I don't like animals... I got chased around by a chicken once...
Believe it.

Awesome Psychology banter, as always.

Mukhtar was being a tour guide on the bus back from Torry, which, on reflection, was kind of weird... seen as he had just said:
"I never tell lies".
And here he is saying nothing but lies...
MUKHTAR: We're approaching one of the most beautiful areas of Aberdeen right now.
(He was referring to Kincorth, so blatant LIE)
MUKHTAR: You'll see lots of Dandelions.
(They were daffodils) 
MUKHTAR: The brown ones aren't dead, they are just hibernating.
(Flowers don't hibernate, bears do). 
MUKHTAR: And we are just approaching a private school, it's the best school in Aberdeen.
(He was speaking about Kincorth Academy, need I say any more?)
Lunch? Urggghhh...

The music on the radio was horrible!




Rod Stewart.




Listen to this and tell me that this isn't a timeless classic...

Okay... timeless classic has pretty positive connotations, right? Then it is not a timeless classic. But this song just. wont. die.

Wow. After a quick google session, I discovered that Aqua are still alive.

And they are producing semi serious music?

Even Rebecca Black is shocked by your cheesiness.
That is a huge insult to Aqua, I am sure we can all agree.


Rachel was blasting her tunes.

I know what you're thinking...

"That sounds pretty funky" or, if you come from this century, "That sounds pretty cool, what's the problem with that?"

The problem?

THIS is the problem.

The bigger problem? I actually like that song. Oh dear.

Mr McDonald then came in and TOTALLY crushed the party mood, because he revealed that the art folios are due in on the 6th of May. 

That's 2 weeks away.

And I haven't even finished them. EITHER of them...


Basically, everyone was just stressing out because of this.

Apart from Liam, cause he's is just one chilled out dude.

New nickname? The Icecube. I shall have to inform him that this is his new nickname...

He has been informed. 

Speaking of Liam, had an epic conversation with him and Aaron on the bus ride home. 

Well, I had an awesome conversation with the both of them in general, but that was on Thursday and now It's Saturday so I'm just going to give you excerpts.

LIAM: So who's side were you on: Team Paramore or Team Farro?
ME: Isn't it obvious?!
LIAM: Team Farro?
ME: NO! Team Paramore...
ME: Josh is such a douche! He keeps bringing up the past, I wouldn't mind them if Josh just stopped!
LIAM: But the drummer was hot.
ME: Yeah... Zac was a cutie... But Hayley Williams?! I'd go gay for her. Wouldn't you go straight for her?
I'd love to tell you that having a gay friend isn't all it's cracked up to be, but I'd be lying. I loved Liam before I found out he was gay, but I love him even more now! ^_^

We were having a conversation about concerts, so obviously, I whapped oot the boob story


Whapped oot and boobs probably shouldn't be in the same sentence, should they?

Oh well. It's my blog and I'll write whatever I please!

What's that? The Power has went to my head?
ME: Yeah, I was at a concert, and I got whacked in the face by someone's boobs. I mean, I just turned round to speak to Chloe and BOOM. Boobs in the face. 
LIAM: Lesbian!
ME: Is it really lesbian if I didn't choose for it to happen? It's more like rape.
LIAM: Or just a terrible invasion of personal space.
This is normal banter for me. It's what I hear on a daily basis. Perhaps that just helps emphasize the weird nature of my life.

What is NOT normal, or anticipated, or even socially acceptable?

Some random kid deciding to join in this conversation at this precise moment in time.

Creepy child alert!
RANDOM KID: I heard every thing you just said.
INNER MONOLOGUE: Damn. I told myself that I would speak quietly on buses after the time Michelle told me that I was like a foghorn on them.
ME: ... Yeaaaah.
RANDOM KID'S FRIEND: He turned around so quickly when you mentioned boobs.
I just wanted to shout out:
"YES! Some random girl slapped me across the face with her jugs! It was the least sexual thing I have ever witnessed. GET OVER IT AND DON'T BUMP INTO CONVERSATIONS AT AWKWARD TIMES!"
But, I didn't. 
RANDOM KID: Goodbye weird girl.
First: Weird girl? No. If that is going to be my superhero's name, then you can get lost! I want to be called Captain Flash. Flash as in flash photography. Not flash as in exposing self in public.

Whenever I think of flashers, I immediately think
of the Gremlins flasher scene.
I'm a movie geek, sue me.



Lauren xxx

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