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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Friday, 11 March 2011

Oops. Missed the chair.


Ahhhh man. Half eight in the morning is way too early for me.

Yet, I can still make sexual references?

GAME: Find the boobs.
With the duffdicated nipple.
Yes. I did just make up that word.

ME: It's not Rihanna that I have a lady crush on... it's Hayley Williams.
And her carrot of a microphone.
SARA: Oh yeah! It was Bev that had the lady crush on Rihanna.
ME: I would go gay for Hayley on this bus.
SARA: Just on this bus then? Not anywhere else? Not over by those trees?
ME: What do you take me for?! I am not an animal! 
We were trying to write up our reports, which basically meant me, Lucas and Sara had a wee chat.

Well... I say Sara...

She kind of got nudged to the far end of the classroom because Torry's computers are weird and none of them were working.

After some typing and (mostly) copying, I hear a loud *dunt*.

So I look up to see my Psychology teacher, sprawled out on the floor. He had missed the chair.

Who knows? Maybe he had his reaons...
Like not wanting his ass to be bitten off.

The part that was so hilarious was the fact that he stayed on the floor for two minutes. Just staring at everyone in the class, with his arms crossed like a mummy...



Got our personal reflective's back, Mrs Fulton said that we were supposed to mention society as a whole in our essays.

Our English class' collective face
 resembled this.

I swear, Ms Alba did not make us aware of this.

Then again....

She didn't even teach us well enough for us to realise that this is an example of bad spelling...

Bad spellers: Putting the "cool" in "Shcool".

She was saying that a majority of essays that she's had to read over the years had a few common problems...


A) Explicit descriptions of emotions.
"I was really scared of the dog."
B) Trying to a long period of time into one little essay.

C) Treating the essay as their journal entry...
 MEGAN: Oh noooo... I've done that! I don't want to hand it in now!! *hugs essay*
MRS FULTON: Personal essays are a bit like show and tell, it's the teachers chance to find out all the gossip...
Ahhh, now we know why the teachers insist on writing personal...

Apparently, some kid admitted to being abused in his/her personal essay... That takes guts to write. Poor thing. I would like to know how that was dealt with...

Was in the queue at break (wasn't doing queue duty, but I was meant to) and I asked Ashleigh:
ME: Is you next?

That's what an A in Higher English gets you folks.


Gaaaaah. My double period of hell.

Had a nice little chat with Sophie and Calum though, (Dougal wasn't in, I thought he was skiving but it turns out he had a music exam) Sophie showed me her Mum with a cake and Calum showed me pictures of his Mum posing at Stonehaven beach.

Sophie had her phone on full display for about ten minutes (and, not to mention, answered it in the middle of the class), whereas Calum had his phone under the desk for a minute and was asked:
MR HUGHES: Is that a phone I see Calum?
Why do you hate Calum Mr Hughes?

Only violence like that is an acceptable
 reason for hatred.
Put the hammer down Calum.
And put some clothes on.

The good thing is that we got a five minutes break, so we went down to the Hot bar.
CALUM: I'll never forget the time that someone went up to get an icecream at Jimmy Cheungs... the machine broke and ice-cream started flying everywhere.
Bad things happen at Jimmy Cheungs.
ME: One of the girls in my year was at Jimmy Cheungs, and they had a bottle of ketchup, so they were shaking it to try getting the ketchup out and looked behind them... there was a man standing behind them, covered in ketchup. They had left the top off.
But, we had to go back up and "learn" something soon enough, so we went back upstairs. Mr Shaw spotted that Sophie had on a red and white top and asked...
MR SHAW: Where's Wally?!

He's behind you!

Lunch was funny. Went over to see Lauren because she was lonered, but some of her friends came over... 
GIRL: ... I've got no sauce.
LAUREN: Go get some sauce then.
GIRL: You go get it for me. 
LAUREN: Why the **ck would I get it for you?!
GIRL: Here's my accord card!
LAUREN: Get it yourself!
Laura is coming out of the queue.
LAUREN: *shouting* Lauraaaaa! SAUCE!
Laura comes out of the queue without the sauce.
GIRL: She didn't get my sauce. 
Go get the sauce then!!

Megan was away to go do her Music exam, Lauren said that her cover of "Memories" from cats was enough to move you to tears.

GIRL: I want to go see her sing!
LAUREN: Go on then!
GIRL: I will, if you get me some sauce.
LAUREN: How does that work!?!?
Went to see Mrs Fulton though, cause Megan needed to hand something in. She was freaking out majourly so you want to know Mrs Fulton's advice?
MRS FULTON: Think of your blood pressure!

We went to music after that, I just listened to her playing timpini and singing. She's so talented. I swear. I think she freaked out some little kids though, cause she was talking about her lucky underwear and threw her clothes off in a dramatic fashion.

She's a drama kid though, what sort of fashion do you expect her to undress in?

(NOTE: She only took her jumper and blazer off... She wasn't doing her exam in her underwear.)

I like very few fourth years (mostly due to the fact I know very few Fourth years) but most of the ones I like are in the one drama class:

(Yes, their class is tiny)

So I was speaking to them all before they went into class.

Love Jenny-Claire.
JENNY: How do you know Lauren?
SAM: How do I NOT know Lauren!?
ME: Hey! You're going to start Rumours!
The only exception.

Loved how she brought up the France story...

We were on the bus back to Britain from France and I fell asleep. The bus moved a corner or something and I ended up smacking Sam... with my head... on her head. UNCONCIOUS HEADBUTTING!

I have no recollection of that.

SAM: It's because you were asleep!!

Kelly walked in with a face like a brick.
ME: What's wrong?
KELLY: I swallowed a sweet whole! *makes a weird, choking noise* 
This goes on for the whole of Art.
KELLY: *starts prodding throat* Oh! The sweet's there. I'm not poking myself in the throat again.
Then it turned into a geography lesson... here's a question for you:

What's the capital of Venezuela? 

Lauren xxx


  1. It's Calum! That was a funny Maths lesson, they usually all are. It just becomes depressing when he gives out work. UGH ahah! xx

  2. Hehe, I know! ^_^ Best in a whiley!

    I really would like to know why he hates you so much though! xx