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Sunday, 6 February 2011

Welcome to insanity... sorry you're here.

I am sure that I don't need to remind you that the internet is an incredibly dangerous place.

And I am sure that I don't need to remind you that the world in general is an incredibly dangerous place.

But when the dangers and hardships of the world become too much to handle, where do you find sanctuary?

Disturbingly, most will answer:

The internet.

This is proved by the huge influx in the amount of pro-anorexia, pro-self harm and even pro-suicide websites that have appeared in the past few years.

This in itself is petrifying, to be all to aware that your best friend, or your Brother, or your Daughter, could be visiting these websites and being encouraged to "catch the bus" (Pro-suicide communities use this chilling phrase as a euphemism for committing suicide). Some members of these sites will even give you "foolproof" methods on how to kill yourself, and, most disturbingly, will even offer to ensure your death themselves.

I was highly disturbed upon learning of the existence of these "communities", so I decided to investigate further, and discovered some shocking tales...

One woman, who helped run some pro-suicide websites, told of a highly sadistic member whom many people had complained to her about. She tried to trap him into telling her why he was so interested into helping suicidal people die:
"The first chat went innocently enough, he only offered to dispose of my body. During the second chat, he offered to kill me. By the third chat, I had him confessing his sexual fetish of cannibalism"
No, that's not some sort of sick joke. He offered to "help" people end their lives... but instead he was doing it for his own, evil, intentions. He wanted to use vulnerable people as sex slaves, murder them and then eat them.

It sounds like some sort of perverted horror movie. Along the lines of "Friday the 13th" meets "Cannibal Holocaust" but no... This is real life. And I swear, reality is scarier than any movie ever made.

This woman gave the logs of their conversations to the FBI, who got in touch with this perverts Local authorities, and do you know what happened?

"I really thought this was a matter for law enforcement. Apparently, protecting suicidal women is not high on their list of priorities."
Reading the desperation in these people's writing is heartwrenching...
"I'll tell you if it doesn't work. I'm focusing on keeping it simple, robust, and reliable. I just want it to work."
It doesn't sound like they are discussing death. It sounds as if they are discussing car designs, or toys, perhaps furniture... but not death. Never death. 
"No-one thinks I'm trying to kill myself (I'm not by the way, not with my daughter in the house)"
I think we forget that, these people, tragically scarred through experiences that we are all too naive to even imagine are not the only victims of their decision to end their life. Their family suffers too. Perhaps their family suffers more than the suicidal person. After all, they only had to endure a moment of pain, their family has to cope with their death for the rest of their lives.

Then you have the people who are not aiming to "help" people end their pain, but rather cause it, sadistic and cruel, you may turn away or screw up your face in disgust, but I am not making this up...
"The goal of this death is not only to kill yourself, but to emotionally scar as many passers-by as possible...
 Ascend to roof of building. Secure piano wire and rope to solid object near the edge.  SECURELY tie rope around your feet.  Loop piano wire snugly around your neck. Epoxy/Superglue your hands to your head.  Allow glue to set. Jump off the roof. 
You will have a good 80 feet of freefall to accelerate. At 20 feet below the ground your head will come off quite cleanly via the piano wire. You will come to a rest above the ground, head hanging neatly in your hands, directly in the line of sight of passers-by. Plus, you should get a good blood spray over a wide range. While it may seem a little complicated, what better way to take revenge on the world that drove you to suicide than to scar a large number of people for life?"
I can't fathom why someone would ever think of this, let alone post it for the whole world to see... Do they not realise how amazingly vulnerable these people are? Why would you suggest for someone to kill themselves in this incredibly painful way? Even if this was post in a joking manner, doesn't it just sum up the incomprehensible evil that our friends, siblings and children are being subjected to in this cruel world?

Upon further reading, I realised that it only got worse. This is someone's honest reaction to a member, telling their tragic story about their long lived, suicidal tendencies and neglectant parents...
 "The only thing that should be hanging over in any sense of the way is your body as it swings off a bridge or roof rafter or tree limb. Just do it, and get it over with. Why prolong the inevitable. You really know you want to do it, so just do it. Trust me, the world will still revolve without your ass and your Momma will still be f**king the neighbour and your Daddy will still be screwing you Sister regardless of you being alive or dead, so what are you waiting for."
I felt genuinely sick upon reading that, my heart just sunk... to think, a stranger can save you or destroy you with their words, they can encourage you to do something you will regret, or something that you will be unable to take back. Why would you want to push someone who is clearly suffering from depression and is in desperate need of some counselling to end their life?! 

Some ask their peers deeper questions... is death painful? Is there an after life? Will I burn in hell for throwing my life away? Is there even a hell?

Some attempt to answer these questions... some even suggest for others to find out for themselves...
"We will never know just how peaceful and painless it actually is. From a third-person perspective it appears to be painless. But the only way to find out is to try it from a first-person perspective and that means to actually die from it yourself."
The sickest thing is, these are common sights to see on the internet. Collectively, depressed and suicidal people are joining together and trading tips and methods on how to write suicide notes and kill yourself in the most creative manner like they were pokemon cards. 

It needs to stop.

Don't you agree? Shouldn't there be more support sites for people who are depressed and suicidal and less sites supporting the act of committing suicide? Shouldn't there be tougher moderating on these sites at the least?! People have died because of people encouraging them to die (nicknamed "Suicide whisperers") and that means that this is a serious matter. A matter of life and death.

After logging onto one of these sickening websites, I came across a list of members, and underneath some of their names, a date of death. This hit me hard. This isn't fiction, this is reality. That person, because yes, they were a human being with thoughts and feelings, had a family. They had people who loved them dearly and to think of the pain that they must have went through upon learning of their death is overwhelming. No-one should have to go through that. 

If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, I beg you not to log onto these sites. 
Don't do something stupid. 
Don't do something selfish.

There are 6 billion people in the world, all you need is one, one person who you can trust and love and who will love you back. Those odds are pretty good, don't you agree?

There are so many people that could help you; Your friends, your family, therapists, hotlines, charities, the list is almost never ending.


Sometimes, when I feel depressed, I find sanctum in film, or a song. A lyric that can make me relate. Sometimes, it's just that simple.

Pink's "F**kin Perfect" makes me feel like that. Like she wants to break the taboo and talk about anorexia, bullying, self-harm and suicide. 
It's a great feeling to know that someone believes that you're worthwhile.
It's a great feeling to know that someone loves you for who you are.

Paramore's "Misguided Ghosts" is another song I connect with when depressed.  "You are not useless" is the one lyric that screams out at me. You're not useless. Listen to Hayley and believe that. You're loved. And you're irreplaceable.

I don't care if you use any of these links to help you. As long as you get help. As long as you are peaceful and content with your life. And as long as you don't choose death, because let's face it, what sort of a decision is that? 

I was welcomed to the first site by a message:
"Welcome to *sites name*. Sorry you're here."
I'm sorry I'm here too...

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