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Blogger, full-time bum and proud owner of a rubber duck named Bert. Come say hi. I don't bite. Unless you're a cheesecake, then I'd recommend backing away slowly.

Sunday, 30 January 2011

I will never be able to look at running machines in the same way again.

Started off the day badly.


Got on the bus (not bad yet) and started speaking to Ashleigh (definitely not bad). Once we got off the bus, Ashleigh asked:
ASHLEIGH: Where's your bag?
First thoughts: Oh no! I've left it on the bus!


But I didn't leave it on the bus. I LEFT IT AT HOME.


I left it at home, my bag, with everything I could ever need for school at home and didn't even realise.




So, I stood at the pick-up place for the bus to take us to Torry, feeling completely naked without my bag, and waited.

PSYCHOLOGY


Turns out we needed books and pens. 

Sigh. It had to be today.

We were learning about attachment. It was such a cute lesson, because we were shown a bunch of pictures of baby animals!

Photos like these:


D'aaaaaw.

The weirdest thing? The puppy that was used in the slideshow (not the one shown sadly) was in my dream that night...

FREAKY.

ENGLIGH

Major fail, no bag equals no essay plan, no text and no pen!

A good ten minutes was spent asking EVERYONE I knew for a pen, none of them had one to borrow me.

What's up with that? Do people not carry more than one pen with them?!

Finally, I found Andrew, who lent me a pen, I gave him a hug, once again, a 6th year has saved my life! 

So he's been ranked to hero status. 

Did not help the essay writing though... I've failed, once again.

Ahhhh well... There's still two weeks to become an epic writer.

DOUBLE MATHS

Just doing work in all honesty, nothing epicly exciting!

Calum was off, so we've concluded that at least one of our table members must be off per week or we could easily take over the world.

Watch out Antarctica, we're gunning for you!

KING OF THE PENGUINS!

Almost got anally raped by a bass guitar at Lunch. Brandon mis-aimed though, so it's all good.

Ashleigh just missed the bus to go to town. It was adorable watching her as she attempted to bomb for it, but she can't run that fast. She always ends up doing a type of waddling run.

It's SO cute.

I had a lovely conversation with her at a bus stop that managed to turn into a conversation about tri-sexuals (people who like men, woman and jelly) and quad-sexuals (people who like men, woman, jelly and squirrels).

FREE

Friday club (the name that we have fondly adopted) was hilarious.

I had a mini heartattack though, Michelle was leaning against an open window  and I thought she was going to fall through it.

Then Michelle and Rachel began tossing a book back and forth, with Rachel sitting in front of the open window.

Surprise, surprise, the book ended up being chucked out of the window.

That book? That was Grant's new English book.

Queue the giant pole used to open windows to attempt hooking the book.

Haha, they tried to hook that damn book for 5 minutes before they told Michelle that it wasn't actually Grant's book.

Lengthy discussion about Mr Tullock and Ms Rankin went on too. 

Lucas said that even the teachers know about them, with Mr Shaw not making any attempt to deny the rumours and merely saying "I'm saying nothing" when asked about it.

It's really weird though, because they are actually really cute together... it's the fact that Ms Rankin is married that makes it a bit awkward.

So we've decided that we are going to hide in her office (even though it is really small and has no-where to hide) to try and catch them... emmm... doing something.

Then Laura strolls in with a "better" plan.
LAURA: Right, here's what we'll do, we're going to buy a cat.
SAM: What?
ME: Yeah, that's going to do a lot of good isn't it?!
LAURA: Wait for it! We're going to buy a cat, attach one of those collars with a camera on it and wait!
ME: Hear that Sam, we're going to give her a cat and she's going to keep the thing in her office (!)
We're going to get a domino's next Friday, or at least that's the plan, can't wait!


ART


Fail day continues. We had to write an essay.


That went well... 

Lies.


Kelly just made faces throughout and started winking obviously at me. What a kid.


Lee had her college interview, so was wondering how she got on quite a lot of the time.


She said it went well, so here's hoping!


EDIT: She got into college. That's my English bud, make us proud!


I went to Frankie and Benny's and bowling at night for Heather's birthday with Heather (obviously!), Chloe, Lauren and Paige.






Almost forgot Heather's birthday present. God knows where my head was on Friday.


It was hilarious! I had never met Lauren or Paige before but they were so sweet! Lauren's hilarious, she licked the bottle of extra virgin olive oil. Just for the hell of it. Take that hygiene. 


...


It's amazing how many times I spelt hygiene wrongly there.


You should have seen Heather's face anytime the lights went off and "Happy Birthday" was getting played, she thought it was for her everytime. It wasn't. But her face said it all.


Chloe kept staring at some poor waiter.


I had a Chicken Caesar pizza, it was so fine! Paige had the same. Heather and Chloe has a pepperoni pizza and Lauren had a sausage dinner.


After having talked at length about penises.


Lovely.

She shaped the mashed potatoes into balls. And then ate the sausage.



They gave her a yorkie pudding five minutes later, she shoved the mashed potatoes into that and then ate that too.


Oh yeah, I gave Lauren a high five and it was delivered with so much force, the drinks almost got pushed off the table.

RAWR!



I can't remember how we got onto this topic, but we were wondering if you could have sex on a running machine....


So, if you or someone you know has had sex on a running machine, please, write in.


Imagine the calories you lose!!

Same thing goes to rowing machines… 
that would make more sense.



40% of suicides are committed by those who have been bullied about their sexuality. Did you know that?


Lauren told us that yesterday.


Speaking of Lauren, her dress was a little pesky. It kept riding up. She slid out of the booth and I got a face-full of tights. So lady like!


Then Donna (Heather’s sister) came and paid for the meal. 


Let the bowling commence!


Now, I am in no way a consistent bowler. I’m either epic, or suck so badly you could swear that I was a dyson.


So the jury was out on what kind of night it would be, especially considering the fail of the day I had just had.


We headed to the front desk to get our “sexy” bowling shoes… and whilst putting them on, we finally figured out why they made them look so ugly.


So no-one would steal them!


Chloe was wearing a skirt, so it went perfectly with that...


Donna got us all drinks, most of us had IRN BRU’s, which tasted so nice! Very sweet. We think that they might have been drugged. I'm writing this post though, so you know that I'm perfectly fine, as are the rest of the gang.


Bowling was great fun, it took 2 hours though!


The guys next to us had the best names ever…


One was called “Hapi”. That was genuinely his name.


Hapi.

And the other was called “CockRash”.


Ehhhh…

I hope that's not his real name.


You might need to click on that to enlarge it
 but I assure you, that's evidence.


The other boy next to us was… strange?


He had major saggage. Sagging jeans that is.


When he rolled the ball, you could see his entire ass popping out of his jeans.


I'm not going to lie to you, that distracted me immensely.


That and his friend falling over. Oh sweetie.


Paige was on a roll! I managed to beat her by one point and came out top! 


I as so happy! Donna was a force to be reckoned with too! 


More practise is needed however, I came last in the second game.


Oh well! I managed to get the first strike, and isn't that the most important thing? 

Oh yeah, other than that whole 'taking part' thing.


They waited with me in the freezing cold for my Dad to come and collect me, 
what cuties.


We were talking about confidence, Lauren said
LAUREN: Heather has big balls!
Some drunk man joined in.
DRUNK MAN: Who has big baws? *points at Heather*
Lauren almost stabbed him with her heels!


Great day, best day in a while! If 2011 is filled with these sort of days then I will be immensely happy!


Lauren xxx

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